Fight Back
An old friend came to visit me yesterday, whom I hadn't seen since probably March of this year. Her name is overwhelming anxiety!
She snuck up on me, and I found myself sitting there with old familiar feelings, trying to figure out how she just showed up unannounced. I had been doing well for the past 6 months—managing anxiety, managing overwhelm, and not letting it get me to the place of breakdown.
But let me tell you something… it’s funny that this overwhelming anxiety came right in near the end of my consecration. I’ve been fasting for the entire month of August, and I have learned a great deal about myself.Three recurring themes that have come from this fast:
Let me know if you want to hear more about it, but here's what God kept showing me:
Sam, you don’t follow simple instructions.
You don’t filter your wellspring.
A wellspring is an original and bountiful source of something. God has placed within me a wellspring of joy, peace, and His Spirit—something I can draw from in times of need. However, if I’m not careful and not intentional about guarding it, I run the risk of contaminating it and being unable to use it when I need it most.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
God’s presence has everything I need. EVERYTHING.
Now back to this anxiety… Whew, I’m talking about a full-on panic attack. Sweat. Overwhelming fear. Impending doom. Shoulders tight. Couldn’t focus. Fear.
I kept trying to work through it and even ignore it, but God wouldn’t let me ignore it.
He made me confront it and bring it to Him. He said, “Sit with me, and let’s unpack it together.”
God led me through an exercise I learned in therapy:
What are you feeling?
I feel afraid. I feel fearful that I am out of control.
What is your body doing?
My heart is beating really fast. I can’t focus. My body feels tense.
What are your thoughts?
God, I’ve been going so long in a healthy mental space that something is going to happen that knocks me down where I can’t get back up.
There was a time when, if anxiety showed up, my mind would immediately go to: What did I do? There’s something wrong with me. I caused this.
Thank you, Lord, for showing me I am not who I was last year. I don’t think the same way I did. I am free. And most of all, I have an internal wellspring of peace.
I thank God for grace. He not only gave me the Word—He gave me a strategy to process until I could regain control, locate the target of the underlying thoughts that were causing me to feel anxious, and He gave me His Word to confess until it gave me the peace I needed to move forward.
Your Takeaway
DO NOT sit there and let the enemy beat you up in your thoughts. Don’t let him steal your joy and rob you of your power to take back your mind.
Fight back.
Take back every thought, every feeling—until it changes your behavior.
And here’s the wild part: I write these Simply Faith Fridays in real time. While I was writing this, two people reached out to me for prayer—both dealing with mental struggles.
Let me tell you, like I always tell you: the area of your most tremendous opposition will often be the place God uses you to help others.
I thank God for teaching me how to fight back more quickly. I used to lie there and wait until it got too overwhelming. I’m not the same anymore. The last time was the last time—and the enemy knows that.
Don’t play with me, mane. I have too many people to walk this faith journey out for. You not gone back me up in a corner like you did in the past!
In Purpose,
Simply Faith